Post by Ken on Jul 23, 2012 9:13:27 GMT -5
****ATTENTION!!! SPOILERS EVERYWHERE!! ONLY READ IF YOU'VE ALREADY SEEN THE MOVIE!!!****
I know it’s been a long time since ANYONE wrote ANYTHING on the message boards, but if there was EVER a time to write something again, it is for Batman: The Dark Knight Rises.
So I just saw the movie today, Sat., July 21st. I couldn't wait to see it. I LOVE Batman. I LOVED The Dark Knight. I LOVED Batman Begins. And I was looking forward to this like I looked forward to the first Spiderman movie that came out. That all being said, I'm finding it difficult to sort out all my feelings about this movie. I guess, in retrospect, I have to say that I was disappointed.
Now, before I go on, it is worth mentioning that Christopher Nolan is working in his own universe here. He is not necessarily following in the footsteps of anything. He changes anything and everything to suit the Batman of his own universe, using the Batman history as loosely as possible. So far, this has worked spectacularly, so why mess with a successful formula? Well, perhaps this time, the ingredients to this successful formula were off:
• a cup of too much eagerness to definitively end the series,
• a pinch of a lame attempt to establish a legacy for the future,
• a teaspoon of misplaced happy ending,
• a pound of 3 hour movie that still managed to leave stuff out and forced or rushed important events
To begin with, even in Nolan’s universe, we know that Bruce Wayne is a driven man. We know that he has spent years practicing martial arts and has mastered many disciplines. We know that he has honed his ninja skills in the League of Shadows and has endured training the likes of which would kill many men. So I found it very unlikely that Bruce Wayne would lock himself away in his mansion for eight years following the events of The Dark Knight (TDK). That he would so fully remove himself from Gotham, from charity events, and from his business is completely illogical.
We find Bruce Wayne hobbling around with a cane, furniture covered in sheets, wasting away. This really bugged me. The scene where he goes to the hospital and we learn how broken his body is, we assume, from the years of training and the few years he was actually the Batman, we learn that Bruce Wayne has no cartilage left in his knees. OK, fine. Get new knees! I find it hard to believe that with Bruce Wayne’s billions, his work ethic, and his secret hope to one day return to being Batman, he wouldn’t immediately be operated on and begin rehabilitation in preparation for that day.
Next, we find out that Wayne Enterprises is on the “wane,” pun intended. This really bugs me because without Wayne Enterprises, there is no Batman. The billion-dollar business is what allows Batman to be innovative with his weapons, to supply and resupply, to remain one or two steps ahead of the mob and the police. Also, Bruce Wayne worships his parent’s legacy. After letting their house burn down, it is only logical that he redouble his efforts to honor them by making sure Wayne Enterprises is at the top of its game, so to speak. Nolan has already showed us in Batman Begins, that Wayne is extremely business savvy when he buys back Wayne Enterprises, so why suddenly is Wayne a business idiot? We learn he has spent half of his fortune to build a fusion reactor to power Gotham in order to make clean energy but is now reluctant to turn it on because he is suddenly afraid it can be weaponized. Well….DUH!!!! I didn’t go to Harvard but even I could have told you THAT!!! Nolan has turned Bruce Wayne completely stupid.
This is important for several reasons. Traditionally, Batman/Bruce Wayne is always two-steps ahead of everybody, partly because he doesn’t trust anyone, for good reason, partly because he is the “great detective.” He knows everything about everybody because he researches them, learns everything about them, their past, their relationships, their dirty dealings. But now Bruce Wayne is stupid. He didn’t do his due diligence on Miranda, and as a result, chaos ensues, and she gets the better of him.
Now we are introduced to Bane. OMG! Technically, he was annoying. That facemask killed any hope I had of understanding a word he said. Theatrically, he was very cool. Nolan’s version of Bane was in the same ball park as Ledger’s version of the Joker. In other words, they each took an already existing character and made it theirs.
Fast forward to Batman and Bane’s first battle. I liked the idea that Bane was in The League of Shadows; that he was trained by Ra's Al Ghul, that this is still a continuation of a blood feud, and Bane is what is left of the League. It somehow gives this whole thing credibility. It explains his men’s loyalty. It explains Bane’s motivation and dedication. It also makes Bane a more complete entity, rather than just a juice head that is really strong. Later we find out that the mask isn’t a chemical that gives him enhanced strength, but a chemical that dulls or completely shuts down his pain receptors. This explains why he seems immune to Batman’s assault. But come on Batman, you’re the master of a dozen intricate and deadly fighting styles, how about breaking an arm, or a freaking toe or something?
Bane beats Batman soundly. His training in The League of Shadows in addition to his pain receptors being shut down gives him the edge. He delivers the coup de grace and lifts Batman up over his head, which is pretty believable considering that goofy-looking mother-fucker Tom Hardy is built like a brick shithouse from his last film, The Warrior, and slams him over his knee. I have to admit, this was difficult to watch for me. Now, here’s the question: was Bane really this good, or was this defeat the result of Bruce Wayne languishing in his mansion for the last eight years?
Bane takes Bruce Wayne to some God-forsaken country, I’m not sure where, and throws him in the same prison he suffered in for so many years. It is now that the movie goes completely crazy. Bane blows up everything, from bridges to football stadiums to Commissioner Gordon’s grandmother’s apple pie sitting on a window ledge. What an evil fuck! We find out that not only is Bane in The League of Shadows, but he is also now the leader of Occupy Wall Street and he knows how to redistribute the wealth baby! Again, what an evil fuck!
While all this is going on, Bruce is in prison with a vertebrate literally sticking out of his back. After a few days in a traction device, (a rope hanging from a ceiling), and thanks to a delicate procedure, (an inmate punching Bruce Wayne in the back), the vertebrate slips right back into place seamlessly and Bruce Wayne is able to walk, do sit-ups, push-ups, and pull-ups again. All the years of sitting around Wayne Manor eating bon-bons are washed away and Bruce Wayne regains his former form and glory.
This is the part of the movie where I think everybody generally agrees was rushed. Bruce Wayne’s battle to regain himself could have been the gem of the movie. It could have been Tony Stark’s building of the Mark II. Instead, Bruce does a few push-ups, and is ready to climb up the hole. He is TOLD instead of LEARNS a very predictable lesson. He fails to climb out because he does not fear death. So he leaves the rope behind, makes the jump that somehow seems a lot easier this time, and climbs out of the hole. A very disappointing segment of the movie.
Finally we come to the end. Bruce Wayne returns to Gotham as Batman only a day before the fusion reactor is about to blow, and just in time to save Commissioner Gordon from a frozen, watery grave. I also loved the way Batman announces his return with authority. When he set the bridge on fire with the Bat-symbol, I got some serious goose bumps. Bane had to be shitting his pants, just a little.
Batman then sets a series of events in motion that frankly, would have been set in motion by a few SEAL teams, inserted a la HALO, in the dark of night, 2 days after Bane blows everything up…. if it were real life. But it’s a movie, so let’s move on. The final battle devolves into a street fight between the cops and the robbers with Bane and Batman looking for each other in the chaos. They finally find each other and go at it on the steps of City Hall. The battle is anti-climactic. Batman finally succeeds in knocking a few tubes off Banes facemask. Was it on purpose or was it just happenstance? The Batman that knows everything about his opponents would have been solely focused on disabling Bane’s anesthesia apparatus from the outset, but we don’t really know for sure.
With Bane’s facemask spewing and sputtering, Batman is finally able to hurt Bane. Hallelujah!! And he defeats him. But lo and behold!! Batman is stabbed in the back by Miranda! Literally!! She is really Ras al Ghul’s daughter Talia!! She fixes Bane’s mask and they tie up Batman. Jeez.
Now comes the convoluted end of the mystery. It was Talia that climbed from the hole in the jail, NOT Bane. Huh? Oh, OK, I get it. I guess I couldn’t enjoy Batman’s victory for just a second huh? Dammit.
So, the mercenary was Ras al Ghul, who fell in love with a nameless chick. The nameless chick gets disowned and thrown in jail, where she gives birth to Talia. The nameless chick dies, I guess, leaving Talia alone in jail. Then this guy, Bane, who is already in the jail, becomes her protector. Aw, he’s not such an evil fuck. Talia climbs the wall and escapes, leaving Bane to get the ass-kicking of his life. She finds her father, joins the League of Shadows, and eventually returns for Bane. Bane joins the League of Shadows but gets excommunicated, probably before Bruce Wayne blows the place up in Batman Begins. Whew.
Now Batman’s victory has been turned into defeat. Damn, this movie is depressing. Miranda leaves Batman and Bane to die in the blast, but Bane ain't having none of that shit. He decides to beat up on Batman some more. Suddenly, when all hope is lost, Catwoman arrives on scene and just shoots Bane dead with the Bat-cycle. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?! Is the title of this movie “BATMAN” or “Everybody Else Saves Gotham while a Guy In A Batsuit Gets His Ass Kicked for 3 Hours?!?!?!”
So Batman and Catwoman go after the bomb. They find it and try to rescue the bomb so they can reinsert the core into the reactor and stabilize it. Nope. Not happening assholes. Talia was way smarter then all you idiots put together. She floods the chamber with poor Lucius still in it. I think Morgan Freeman almost hurt himself trying to climb a simple wall ladder trying to escape the floodwaters.
What to do? What to do? Well, the movie has been thick with the foreshadowing of Batman’s death, so…..let’s kill him!! Batman hooks up the core to the Bat and flies off into the bay where it explodes, taking our hero with it, but ultimately foiling Talia’s and Bane’s plan and giving a final middle finger to the League of Shadows.
Movie over right? Nah uh.
Wayne Enterprises is dead, but there is still a Will to be read. Alfred gets everything. EVERYTHING? What the fuck is left?
Wayne Manor is turned into a 4H Boys Club.
John Blake gets a bag with some coordinates and we find out his first name is “Robin.” Huh? There has never been a Robin with the name of John Blake. But he’s an orphan, so it’s OK.
Lucius Fox gets bored and examines the Bat flying machine to fix the auto-pilot, but finds it has already been fixed. By Bruce Wayne!! Wait a minute. How did the Bat survive the blast in the first place? And if it survived, where the hell is Batman/Bruce? HE MUST BE ALIVE!!!!!!!
Robin John Blake finds the coordinates and swings into the Batcave and inherits all its wondrous devices. Great. But when it all breaks down or gets destroyed, you won’t have the money to fix it up or get new stuff, BECAUSE YOU’RE BROKE motherfucker!! Also, hey, you’re NOT Bruce Wayne! You didn’t spend your whole life preparing, or learning to fight, or how to escape anything. At least he’s an orphan and is, technically, a detective.
Finally, Alfred goes on his yearly vacation and stops in for his usual double espresso, when he spots Bruce and Catwoman chillen by the villa. They exchange nods. Hmm. Nods. What’s with the nods??!! Isn’t anybody happy to see each other??!! Jeez.
The End
Not so fast.
The Bat: totally awesome. Totally original. I love the idea of a hover device instead of a plane. Its size, speed, and maneuverability make it perfect for its urban environment. Christopher Nolan excels at reinventing Batman’s equipment.
Catwoman: this is the first successful incarnation of Catwoman in my professional opinion. I love the fact that they NEVER use the word CAT and WOMAN together. They didn’t overplay her character. Anne Hathaway did a fine job, but I think they could have put a dancing bear in her place and it would have done just as good a job.
Bat-cave: I was really looking forward to the improvements in the southwest wing of the foundations. I liked the hidden, submerged platforms, but I was expecting so much more. A little disappointed.
The End….
For Now…
I know it’s been a long time since ANYONE wrote ANYTHING on the message boards, but if there was EVER a time to write something again, it is for Batman: The Dark Knight Rises.
So I just saw the movie today, Sat., July 21st. I couldn't wait to see it. I LOVE Batman. I LOVED The Dark Knight. I LOVED Batman Begins. And I was looking forward to this like I looked forward to the first Spiderman movie that came out. That all being said, I'm finding it difficult to sort out all my feelings about this movie. I guess, in retrospect, I have to say that I was disappointed.
Now, before I go on, it is worth mentioning that Christopher Nolan is working in his own universe here. He is not necessarily following in the footsteps of anything. He changes anything and everything to suit the Batman of his own universe, using the Batman history as loosely as possible. So far, this has worked spectacularly, so why mess with a successful formula? Well, perhaps this time, the ingredients to this successful formula were off:
• a cup of too much eagerness to definitively end the series,
• a pinch of a lame attempt to establish a legacy for the future,
• a teaspoon of misplaced happy ending,
• a pound of 3 hour movie that still managed to leave stuff out and forced or rushed important events
To begin with, even in Nolan’s universe, we know that Bruce Wayne is a driven man. We know that he has spent years practicing martial arts and has mastered many disciplines. We know that he has honed his ninja skills in the League of Shadows and has endured training the likes of which would kill many men. So I found it very unlikely that Bruce Wayne would lock himself away in his mansion for eight years following the events of The Dark Knight (TDK). That he would so fully remove himself from Gotham, from charity events, and from his business is completely illogical.
We find Bruce Wayne hobbling around with a cane, furniture covered in sheets, wasting away. This really bugged me. The scene where he goes to the hospital and we learn how broken his body is, we assume, from the years of training and the few years he was actually the Batman, we learn that Bruce Wayne has no cartilage left in his knees. OK, fine. Get new knees! I find it hard to believe that with Bruce Wayne’s billions, his work ethic, and his secret hope to one day return to being Batman, he wouldn’t immediately be operated on and begin rehabilitation in preparation for that day.
Next, we find out that Wayne Enterprises is on the “wane,” pun intended. This really bugs me because without Wayne Enterprises, there is no Batman. The billion-dollar business is what allows Batman to be innovative with his weapons, to supply and resupply, to remain one or two steps ahead of the mob and the police. Also, Bruce Wayne worships his parent’s legacy. After letting their house burn down, it is only logical that he redouble his efforts to honor them by making sure Wayne Enterprises is at the top of its game, so to speak. Nolan has already showed us in Batman Begins, that Wayne is extremely business savvy when he buys back Wayne Enterprises, so why suddenly is Wayne a business idiot? We learn he has spent half of his fortune to build a fusion reactor to power Gotham in order to make clean energy but is now reluctant to turn it on because he is suddenly afraid it can be weaponized. Well….DUH!!!! I didn’t go to Harvard but even I could have told you THAT!!! Nolan has turned Bruce Wayne completely stupid.
This is important for several reasons. Traditionally, Batman/Bruce Wayne is always two-steps ahead of everybody, partly because he doesn’t trust anyone, for good reason, partly because he is the “great detective.” He knows everything about everybody because he researches them, learns everything about them, their past, their relationships, their dirty dealings. But now Bruce Wayne is stupid. He didn’t do his due diligence on Miranda, and as a result, chaos ensues, and she gets the better of him.
Now we are introduced to Bane. OMG! Technically, he was annoying. That facemask killed any hope I had of understanding a word he said. Theatrically, he was very cool. Nolan’s version of Bane was in the same ball park as Ledger’s version of the Joker. In other words, they each took an already existing character and made it theirs.
Fast forward to Batman and Bane’s first battle. I liked the idea that Bane was in The League of Shadows; that he was trained by Ra's Al Ghul, that this is still a continuation of a blood feud, and Bane is what is left of the League. It somehow gives this whole thing credibility. It explains his men’s loyalty. It explains Bane’s motivation and dedication. It also makes Bane a more complete entity, rather than just a juice head that is really strong. Later we find out that the mask isn’t a chemical that gives him enhanced strength, but a chemical that dulls or completely shuts down his pain receptors. This explains why he seems immune to Batman’s assault. But come on Batman, you’re the master of a dozen intricate and deadly fighting styles, how about breaking an arm, or a freaking toe or something?
Bane beats Batman soundly. His training in The League of Shadows in addition to his pain receptors being shut down gives him the edge. He delivers the coup de grace and lifts Batman up over his head, which is pretty believable considering that goofy-looking mother-fucker Tom Hardy is built like a brick shithouse from his last film, The Warrior, and slams him over his knee. I have to admit, this was difficult to watch for me. Now, here’s the question: was Bane really this good, or was this defeat the result of Bruce Wayne languishing in his mansion for the last eight years?
Bane takes Bruce Wayne to some God-forsaken country, I’m not sure where, and throws him in the same prison he suffered in for so many years. It is now that the movie goes completely crazy. Bane blows up everything, from bridges to football stadiums to Commissioner Gordon’s grandmother’s apple pie sitting on a window ledge. What an evil fuck! We find out that not only is Bane in The League of Shadows, but he is also now the leader of Occupy Wall Street and he knows how to redistribute the wealth baby! Again, what an evil fuck!
While all this is going on, Bruce is in prison with a vertebrate literally sticking out of his back. After a few days in a traction device, (a rope hanging from a ceiling), and thanks to a delicate procedure, (an inmate punching Bruce Wayne in the back), the vertebrate slips right back into place seamlessly and Bruce Wayne is able to walk, do sit-ups, push-ups, and pull-ups again. All the years of sitting around Wayne Manor eating bon-bons are washed away and Bruce Wayne regains his former form and glory.
This is the part of the movie where I think everybody generally agrees was rushed. Bruce Wayne’s battle to regain himself could have been the gem of the movie. It could have been Tony Stark’s building of the Mark II. Instead, Bruce does a few push-ups, and is ready to climb up the hole. He is TOLD instead of LEARNS a very predictable lesson. He fails to climb out because he does not fear death. So he leaves the rope behind, makes the jump that somehow seems a lot easier this time, and climbs out of the hole. A very disappointing segment of the movie.
Finally we come to the end. Bruce Wayne returns to Gotham as Batman only a day before the fusion reactor is about to blow, and just in time to save Commissioner Gordon from a frozen, watery grave. I also loved the way Batman announces his return with authority. When he set the bridge on fire with the Bat-symbol, I got some serious goose bumps. Bane had to be shitting his pants, just a little.
Batman then sets a series of events in motion that frankly, would have been set in motion by a few SEAL teams, inserted a la HALO, in the dark of night, 2 days after Bane blows everything up…. if it were real life. But it’s a movie, so let’s move on. The final battle devolves into a street fight between the cops and the robbers with Bane and Batman looking for each other in the chaos. They finally find each other and go at it on the steps of City Hall. The battle is anti-climactic. Batman finally succeeds in knocking a few tubes off Banes facemask. Was it on purpose or was it just happenstance? The Batman that knows everything about his opponents would have been solely focused on disabling Bane’s anesthesia apparatus from the outset, but we don’t really know for sure.
With Bane’s facemask spewing and sputtering, Batman is finally able to hurt Bane. Hallelujah!! And he defeats him. But lo and behold!! Batman is stabbed in the back by Miranda! Literally!! She is really Ras al Ghul’s daughter Talia!! She fixes Bane’s mask and they tie up Batman. Jeez.
Now comes the convoluted end of the mystery. It was Talia that climbed from the hole in the jail, NOT Bane. Huh? Oh, OK, I get it. I guess I couldn’t enjoy Batman’s victory for just a second huh? Dammit.
So, the mercenary was Ras al Ghul, who fell in love with a nameless chick. The nameless chick gets disowned and thrown in jail, where she gives birth to Talia. The nameless chick dies, I guess, leaving Talia alone in jail. Then this guy, Bane, who is already in the jail, becomes her protector. Aw, he’s not such an evil fuck. Talia climbs the wall and escapes, leaving Bane to get the ass-kicking of his life. She finds her father, joins the League of Shadows, and eventually returns for Bane. Bane joins the League of Shadows but gets excommunicated, probably before Bruce Wayne blows the place up in Batman Begins. Whew.
Now Batman’s victory has been turned into defeat. Damn, this movie is depressing. Miranda leaves Batman and Bane to die in the blast, but Bane ain't having none of that shit. He decides to beat up on Batman some more. Suddenly, when all hope is lost, Catwoman arrives on scene and just shoots Bane dead with the Bat-cycle. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?! Is the title of this movie “BATMAN” or “Everybody Else Saves Gotham while a Guy In A Batsuit Gets His Ass Kicked for 3 Hours?!?!?!”
So Batman and Catwoman go after the bomb. They find it and try to rescue the bomb so they can reinsert the core into the reactor and stabilize it. Nope. Not happening assholes. Talia was way smarter then all you idiots put together. She floods the chamber with poor Lucius still in it. I think Morgan Freeman almost hurt himself trying to climb a simple wall ladder trying to escape the floodwaters.
What to do? What to do? Well, the movie has been thick with the foreshadowing of Batman’s death, so…..let’s kill him!! Batman hooks up the core to the Bat and flies off into the bay where it explodes, taking our hero with it, but ultimately foiling Talia’s and Bane’s plan and giving a final middle finger to the League of Shadows.
Movie over right? Nah uh.
Wayne Enterprises is dead, but there is still a Will to be read. Alfred gets everything. EVERYTHING? What the fuck is left?
Wayne Manor is turned into a 4H Boys Club.
John Blake gets a bag with some coordinates and we find out his first name is “Robin.” Huh? There has never been a Robin with the name of John Blake. But he’s an orphan, so it’s OK.
Lucius Fox gets bored and examines the Bat flying machine to fix the auto-pilot, but finds it has already been fixed. By Bruce Wayne!! Wait a minute. How did the Bat survive the blast in the first place? And if it survived, where the hell is Batman/Bruce? HE MUST BE ALIVE!!!!!!!
Robin John Blake finds the coordinates and swings into the Batcave and inherits all its wondrous devices. Great. But when it all breaks down or gets destroyed, you won’t have the money to fix it up or get new stuff, BECAUSE YOU’RE BROKE motherfucker!! Also, hey, you’re NOT Bruce Wayne! You didn’t spend your whole life preparing, or learning to fight, or how to escape anything. At least he’s an orphan and is, technically, a detective.
Finally, Alfred goes on his yearly vacation and stops in for his usual double espresso, when he spots Bruce and Catwoman chillen by the villa. They exchange nods. Hmm. Nods. What’s with the nods??!! Isn’t anybody happy to see each other??!! Jeez.
The End
Not so fast.
The Bat: totally awesome. Totally original. I love the idea of a hover device instead of a plane. Its size, speed, and maneuverability make it perfect for its urban environment. Christopher Nolan excels at reinventing Batman’s equipment.
Catwoman: this is the first successful incarnation of Catwoman in my professional opinion. I love the fact that they NEVER use the word CAT and WOMAN together. They didn’t overplay her character. Anne Hathaway did a fine job, but I think they could have put a dancing bear in her place and it would have done just as good a job.
Bat-cave: I was really looking forward to the improvements in the southwest wing of the foundations. I liked the hidden, submerged platforms, but I was expecting so much more. A little disappointed.
The End….
For Now…